“Transitions are very difficult for gifted kids, who are very single-minded and love to concentrate on what they want to concentrate on.” – Barbara Klein, Ed.D.
You put water into a bottle; it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot; it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee
Handling transitions often tests the daily life skills of individuals with extreme focus and persistence. It’s interesting to note that creative problem solving (a strength in the cognitive profile of many of my clients) involves flexible thinking. But the form of flexible thinking that takes place in an abstract realm is strikingly different than the demands of flexibility inherent in mastering schedules and routines synced up with the world.
- Breaking focus on a task to eat or function at the pace of community life?
- Distancing from attentional residue inspired by a project in order to pay attention to concrete reality?
- Daily functioning (like getting out the door in the morning)?
Sometimes hyper-intellectuals benefit from being explicitly taught how to switch from one thing to another.
Let’s start with a list of trivial and significant events that require transitions (the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another). Feel free to adjust these lists in the most relevant manner for your current life.
List of big events that involve transitions:
- Moving (different house, town, country)
- Traveling (in general)
- Changing schools
- Starting and stopping summer camps
- The start and the end of the academic school year
- The change from elementary school to middle school
- Middle school to high school
- Moving from high school to college
List of small events that involve transitions:
- Going from one class to another
- Being asked to stop what you are doing for meals
- Schedule changes (teacher cancels class for the day)
- Getting ready for the day
- Getting ready for bed
It may take a long time for a student to realize tolerating ambiguous situations is a strength. Consistency and continuity are crucial for gifted individuals, particularly during times of change. Having a stable foundation of familiar people, places, things, and experiences often provides people with the confidence to navigate new environments successfully.
Big Changes
The work of William Bridges provides a framework for people of all ages going through big changes. The Bridges Transition Model aids both organizations and individuals in comprehending and better handling the personal and emotional aspects of change. It outlines three key stages individuals undergo during change: Ending the Current State, The Neutral Zone, and The New Beginning.
Ending/Letting Go:
- Mark the ending with individualized rituals/symbols
- Identify who is losing and who is gaining what in the transition
- Identify what is over and what is not
- Expect and accept signs of grieving
The Messy Middle/Neutral Zone:
- Use a framework focused on short-term goals and temporary systems
- Metaphors and creativity are useful during this stage (they add shape to an ambiguous future)
- Assist repatterning with examples/analogical thinking
- Realigning the psyche may cause polarized thinking, low motivation, high anxiety (look for signs people may need more help than usual)
The New Beginning:
- Shape new identity by marking the new beginning with ritual/symbols
- Outline a plan/schedule of what will happen to who and when
- Identify roles for everyone involved to participate in the change effectively
- Timing can be crucial (allow everyone to arrive at their own pace)
Small Changes
Struggles Set-Shifting: Friend or Foe?
Set-shifting (also known as task-switching) is a domain of executive functioning allowing people to adapt to situations. Some researchers believe issues with set-shifting shouldn’t always be viewed as negative because the context of the hyper-focusing matters. For example, switching attention from one task to another matters in the school environment where we shuffle people around. It matters in a world where most people value changing activities frequently.
However, someone who has “issues” with set-shifting, when left to their own devices to focus on a task they enjoy, may have the stamina to stick with the task for hours longer than the average person. What do you think? Is this executive functioning issue a strength or a weakness? Are we negatively labeling what doesn’t fit smoothly into schools or into society?
Regardless, small daily transitions (like switching between tasks or activities) can benefit from strategies to make them smoother:
- Plan Ahead: Allocate specific time slots for different tasks or activities in your day. Having a clear plan can help you transition more smoothly between them.
- Use Transition Rituals: Develop simple rituals to signal the end of one task and the beginning of another. This could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, stretching, using a timer, or jotting down notes about what was accomplished and what needs to be done next.
- Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: If transitioning between complex tasks, break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can make it easier to switch gears and stay focused on the next immediate task.
- Set Break Times: Allocate a few minutes between tasks specifically for transitioning. Use this time to mentally prepare for the next task, organize materials, or tidy up the workspace.
- Stay Flexible: Be prepared to adapt your schedule and priorities as needed throughout the day. Unexpected interruptions or changes may occur, so maintaining a flexible mindset can help.
- Reflect and Adjust: At the end of each day, take a few moments to reflect on how smoothly transitions went and identify any challenges or areas for improvement.
- Be Kind: Remember it’s normal to experience difficulty with transitions, especially in families juggling multiple tasks and responsibilities.
Helping Others Through a Change
Below is an excerpt from Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children by Alyssa Blask Campbell (Author), Lauren Elizabeth Stauble (Author):
Navigating Transitions:
- Normalize and welcome the feelings through your words and actions.
- Use visual aids (younger students) and calendars (older students) to talk about the transition/change.
- Invite curiosity and allow questions, even uncomfortable ones.
- Plan for everything to take longer than usual.
- Pre-teach and tell stories and examples prior to the transition/change.
We all operate differently. Some of us love a heads-up and want all the info and details as soon as we can get them. For other folks, too much information too soon can lead to anxiety or just be pushed to the side.
When my little guy was starting childcare, I reached out to the provider to get all the forms, start date, days they were closed for the next school year, and all that jazz right away. Planning ahead was calming for me. When the forms came for my best friend, she put them in a pile until about a week before, when she filled them out. Neither of us is right or wrong; we just operate differently.
In order to best support each individual child, you can ask yourself:
- Who is this child?
- Do they do best with more of a heads-up and time to ask all the questions, or are they up at 3 a.m. anxious about what’s coming if they have too much of a heads-up?
- Will they be anxious with too much unknown and a long lead time, or is having a little bit of information calming for their nervous system?
- Answering Who is this child? and What works best for them? will be key for what’s next. – Alyssa Blask Campbell and Lauren Elizabeth Stauble
Specific Example: After School Time (Also Relevant For Coming Home From Camps/Activities)
After-school can be overwhelming for kids. When they get home, they might feel overloaded by the day’s sensory input. They experience a lot at school—social interactions, transitions, bright lights, new concepts, and others’ emotions.
Even with breaks during the day, kids may still feel drained when they come home, especially during transitions. This can cause “restraint collapse,” where they might express frustration towards you. Although it’s tough, it shows the strong bond you share. Here are four steps to help your child after school:
- Check: Assess their needs—are they tired, hungry, or needing sensory input? Use resources to help them recharge.
- Connect: Spend quality time with your child without distractions. Whether it’s playing, snuggling, reading, or sharing, find what helps them feel connected.
- Process: Let them talk about their day when they’re ready, whether through conversation, drawing, or journaling. This can also happen later, like at dinner or bedtime.
- Play: Give them time to unwind through play. A routine of uninterrupted play helps them relax, process their day, and feel independent.
By following these steps, you can provide the support and understanding your child needs after a busy day.
Many of the above tips take practice and time to learn and absorb. Transitioning can pose challenges for any child, but when you factor in the intricacies of a neurodiverse learning profile, these challenges can intensify. While traits commonly associated with gifted individuals, such as intense focus, insatiable curiosity, lofty personal standards, and strong independence, can be advantageous in certain contexts, they may present hurdles when it comes to navigating the multitasking demands of today’s world. These suggestions will assist your child and family in navigating the various tasks at hand. However, for further guidance and support, you can explore additional ideas and resources below.
Go Deeper/Resources:
Posted in Executive Functioning
Classes
Blog posts often have a corresponding class or workshop.
Subscribe
Subscribe to the blog for interesting information about cognitive diversity from Michelle’s research and classes.